Worry not Vandana Shiva, all is not lost.

Ladies, gentlemen and transgender folks, I bring you the Grolar Bear. It is a subject Colonix fans should familiarize themselves with as certain members of the band are obsessed with this new species of bear. Yes, it really exists. We found conclusive evidence of the Grolar Bear in 2006, when a fucking hunter shot and killed one, thinking it was a Polar Bear (as if hunting a known species of animal on the endangered species list is any better).

The hybridization of a Polar Bear and Grizzly Bear occurred not in a lab, zoo, circus or some other sociopath born institution of captivity. No, my friends, this bear hybrid happened in nature.The question looms: how, or, why would this happen? And there are theories. Well, there is one popular theory that is nothing more than a long-winded, pompous "I don't know". And then there is my theory, which is much more exciting, dramatic and anthropomorphic and fits into the theme of Earth Day... even though I'm a day late.

It's quite simple, really. Both bears are marginalized apex predators. The Grizzlies were pushed out of much of their habitat early on in European occupation of North America. One can only assume they are still angry about losing California to the likes of Arnold Schwartzenegger and Spanish Missionaries. And Polar Bears are in a struggle with human colonialism in the age of globalization. Their fight with melting ice floes is much more difficult than with that of a "sports" hunter.

So, somewhere along the lines they read Che Guevara's "Guerrilla Warfare" (no doubt discovered him seeing environmental studies interns donning the stencil t-shirts of his face) and decided that inter-species breeding of the largest land predators in the world would result in a super bear: just the weapon they'd need in their war against civilization. Unfortunately, they were wrong. The Grolar Bear tends to be smaller than both and it seems that infighting and an inability to consistently find common grounds (quite literally, Grizzlies hate the ice and Polar Bears hate getting dirt in their paws) among the species has created nothing but setbacks. Nevertheless, this author is of the opinion that the bears are on the right track. That the coalescing of these two species will give the civilized a run for their money.

On a more serious note, we should give Bolivia and Ecuador a hi-five for being the first among many countries to pass a law that gives nature equal rights to humans. Here's an interview with Vandana Shiva and Maude Barlow, two environmentalists who put this idea into perspective better than I ever could: